The adventures of the Vehicon Steve and his loyal sidekick Greg
by Lohis
Summary: These are the adventures of the Vehicons ST-3V3 and GR3G as they try their best to survive aboard the Nemesis, following "Lord" Starscream's every whim. Takes place mostly at the beginning of Season 1, but exceptions will be made. Drabble-series. No (enforced) pairing. Drabble-based summaries at the beginning of each drabble.
1. Drabble 1: Hey, Steve?

**_Okay, I NEEDED to get this out of my head. Please welcome ST-3V3 and GR3G, (aka Steve and Greg) two Eradicons (aka Vehicons) who serve aboard the Nemesis. These are small peeks (aka drabbles) into their everyday lives. Hope you enjoy!  
Disclaimer: I don't own ST3-V3, GR3G or the Transformers.  
Rating: safe T_**

* * *

_/Hey Steve, where are you?/_

_/Uh, hi Greg… Um... I don't really know…/_

There was a silent swoosh and water drizzling nearby.

_/What was that?/_ The curious Eradicon on the other end of the comlink asked.

Steve didn't answer.

_/Well, what happened?/_

_/I was on patrol under Lord Starscream's orders…/_

A low whistle filled the comlink.

_/Shut up. Anyway, I was driving along the road, minding my own business, when this red sports car appeared from nowhere and shot past me, pushing me off the track. I pounced up and down on the sand dunes before hitting this KO drive building, aaandd…./_

_/You're stuck./_

_/Yup./_

There was a long silence, before Greg spoke again:

_/Need a hand?/_

_/Yeah, I want this… This WC sign off of me./_

* * *

**_There. ^^ Hope you liked it! Comments, ideas, requests and reviews are all appreciated!_**


	2. Drabble 2: Lord Starscream's pet cactus

_**...I have nothing to say.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything (except the cactus)  
Rating: K**_

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*****  
Lord Starscream's pet cactus  
*****

"Uh, Steve? What is that?" Greg asked pointing at the… _thing _in his fellow Eradicon's servos.

"It's Lord Starscream's pet cactus, I was assigned its well keeping."

There was an awkward silence between the two.

"…Cactus?"

"Yes."

"Lord Starscream's, you say?"

"Yes."

Greg looked puzzled.

"Does it do fetch?" he asked after a while.

It was Steve's turn to ponder. He scratched his helm and eyed the plant in his hand.

"I…I don't know. I guess it does."

"Well," the cheerier of the two said, "let's find out!"

* * *

The wind howled at the top of the _Nemesis_. The storm had passed as the two 'cons stood on the landing area, Greg holding a piece of scrap pipe he had picked up from… somewhere.

"Okay boy, fetch!" He shouted and threw the pipe. It hit the floor with a clang.

The plant remained still.

Steve looked down at Lord Starscream's prized pet.

"Maybe it's a she?"

Greg turned to look at his comrade before shrugging and jogging to the metal part. Picking it up and waving it, he whistled: "Here girl, c'mon, here girl!"

Nothing.

"Maybe…" Steve began, gently poking the green thing, "it needs a…boost?"

"You may have a point there, Stevey. Okay, let's try!" Greg said and picked up the plant. "Go on, throw the pipe."

"Here goes!" Steve shouted against the sudden wind and threw the metal piece high into the air.

The two watched it spin and start to fall back.

"Now! Your turn, cactus!" Greg exclaimed and tossed it to meet the pipe.

Both mechs, happy of the assuring _clang_ made by the two items hitting, watched as the inanimate objects began to drop, and drop, and drop, and drop, and… miss the ship.

Joyous shouts were replaced with horror-filled cries, as the two ran to the edge of the ship and looked down at the certainly doomed items free-falling towards the ground, disappearing below the clouds, never to be seen again.

"Oh no! What are we going to tell Lord Starscream?" Steve panicked, running in circles, flailing his servos.

"Don't worry! I got it covered!" Greg assured, giving him the thumbs up.

* * *

"Lord Starscream."

The commander (LORD!) of the Decepticons lifted his optics from the gardening magazine he had been reading and sneered at the two.

"Yes, what is it? I'm quite busy scheming the total destruction of the Autobots and their puny little resistance!"

"Sir, it's… It's about your pet cactus."

"Yes?" Starscream inquired, folding the magazine and standing up. "Where is it?"

Steve glanced quickly at the other Eradicon standing beside him.

Greg cleared his voice box.

"It… it ran away, sir."

* * *

_**No cactus was harmed while writing this fic. **_

_**Special thank you for TheShatterpoint for...well... she knows.  
**_

_**Comments, reviews, requests and ideas are appreciated.  
**_

_**...**_

_**Admit it, you have read stranger things here than this particular drabble. :)**_


	3. Drabble 3: Day on the Beach

_**A small continuity (if you squint) to "Lord Starscream's pet cactus". Enjoy! ^^  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
Rating: K**_

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*****  
Day on the Beach  
*****

"Hurry it up, you worthless pieces of metal! I don't have all day!" The Seeker hollered tapping his thigh with his index-talon.

"Yes, Lord Starscream!" the vehicons answered in unison before darting in different directions, stumbling on the loose beach sand.

"Eradicon! My drink."

The nameless trooper hurried over with a tray and a chilled cube of Energon.

The jet grabbed the cube and –swirling its contents with a finger- threw it on the unsuspecting 'con with a loud clang.

"WHERE IS MY STRAW? AND THE LITTLE UMBRELLA THINGY?! I CANNOT RELAX ON A BEACH WITHOUT MY MINI UMBRELLA THINGY!" Starscream all but screamed into the poor vehicon's audio receptors – the trooper would have to see Knock Out later.

Steve shuffled on his pedes. Lord Starscream was mad, _really_ mad.

Ever since Lord Starscream's pet cactus had "ran away" the Seeker had been on his wits end, barking orders and tightening his grip on every single Decepticon aboard the Nemesis –even _Soundwave _(that faceless 'con who gave all the vehicons _the_ chills), making him record every conversation and analyze it in case of a plausible _disagreement_ among the troops. Though, the truth was that he was trying to find the one who had caused his beloved pet to "fly off the nest". (How Greg had been able to convince their master of _their_ innocence, Steve did not know)

Just last night Steve had caught a fellow vehicon screaming in anguish of the grip the Commander (LORD!) had on the troops and running around the corridors aimlessly with the medic -waving a syringe of unknown contents- and his bulky assistant running behind him.

And it was _LAST NIGHT_ that the Commander (LORD!) had had his glorious idea of a "holiday" to calm his overheating CPU.

And thus, thousands of cubic meters of sand (and a few rocks) was brought aboard the Nemesis for the Seeker's calming day on the beach.

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_**... I know. Reviews, comments, ideas and requests are all welcome. :)**_


	4. Drabble 4: How to cheer up Soundwave?

_**A beginning to a series of How to cheer up Soundwave? -drabbles. They'll appear in between the normal drabbles. (If you can call these drabbles normal! xD)  
Rating: K+ (for Cybertronian cursing)  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything**_

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*****  
How to cheer up Soundwave? - the mission  
*****

"What does he keep seeing in that wretched Megatron? He can't even survive without spark support!" Starscream growled stomping around the corridors of the Nemesis.

Lately he had become more and more agitated of the fierce loyalty the faceless 'con had for the (EX!) Decepticon Lord.

"He thinks he's all high and mighty, mysterious and... by the Pit!" The Seeker murmured, skipping between sentences and pushing Eradicons out of his way while somehow managing to spit threats at them over his shoulder."What I need is a plan to bring our dear intelligence officer down from his feared status... But how... HOW?!"

The Commander (LORD!) processed the problem at hand. Around him the Vehicons were clearing him a path and averting the higher-ranking officer.

"AH!" The Seeker chuckled suddenly and paused in his steps scaring the sparks out of a few drones passing him. "That might do…"

_Later in a room Starscream knew Soundwave wasn't watching..._

"Do you understand your mission, Vehicons?" The commander (LORD!) asked.

"Yes, sir!" Steve and Greg answered in unison and saluted.

"Then go and cheer up Soundwave!"

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_**Comments, requests, ideas and reviews are all welcome and highly appreciated. :)**_


	5. Drabble 5: Laundry day

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
Rating: K**_

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*******  
**Laundry day**  
*******

"~Dum di dam, dada dam, dadaa~" Steve hummed happily while filling the washing machine.

Gently as if handling something priceless and easy to break, the Vehicon folded open the pieces of cloth and placed them each in their own machine; you couldn't have maroon red mix with Carmen, Knock Out had taught him that.

Joyous, sparkling-like giggle escaped his voice box. He closed the lids. Turning the machines on, his gaze followed the cloths going round and round and round and round, again and again and…

_Dizzy_.

Another content hum left his lips. Oh, how he _loved_ laundry days.

Lord Starscream was going to be pleased with his capes.

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_**Comments, reviews, requests and ideas are welcome and appreciated.**_


	6. Drabble 6: The cactus that will never be

_**Real continuation to "Lord Starscream's pet cactus". Don't ask.  
Disclaimer: I Don't own anything  
Rating: T (BE WARNED: contains death. If you have lost someone dear to you, you might not want to read this, even if the basis is that of a humorous nature)**_

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*****  
The cactus that will never be  
*****

A chilly wind blew across the deck of the Nemesis. It was already late in autumn and the two Vehicons stared quietly over the edge of the ship. It was hard to believe, but the troopers were being emotional.

"You know, Greg, it… It was a good cactus…" Steve swallowed, holding back a whine in his voice box.

His companion was silent and a gust of cold air slapped against their faceplates. Clouds drifted below them.

"I…" Steve continued, encouraged by his fellow 'Con's silence. "I didn't even know if it was a she or a he, but… And I only knew it for a day or so, but…. We had this… This kind of a connection, you know? Like, we had always known each other…"

"Mmmhm…"

There had been rain earlier, a decent downpour that had left all in a dull shade of gray; the sky, the ship, the spirit of the troopers. But now, the sky was blazing in the glow of the setting sun, gashes of deep red between light orange and white whisks of dying clouds dotting the scenery.

The Seeker had ached and wept after his beloved cactus that had met its early demise by falling off the ship: down, down and until, inevitably, hitting the ground with a spark-shattering crash. The crew of the Nemesis (especially Knock Out in his position as crew medic) had had to feel the Commander's (LORD!) pain -as their own.

Surprisingly, Greg let out a shallow sigh and his whole composure drooped slightly.

"It…." He began. "It was, indeed, a good cactus. Well cared for, well-liked, a bright future ahead of it… And… Yeah."

"…Yeah…." His friend echoed.

They stood in silence. After a while, Greg cleared his voice box and shook his head. "We better get back to work."

Steve nodded absentmindedly. He crouched by the edge and looked down. Winds swirled underneath. The Vehicon put down the bouquet of lilies he had been holding and a packet of the-best-you-can-buy fertilizer. A drop of lubricant fell from his visor and hit one of the lilies. It glittered in the light of the setting sun.

Their retreating steps rang in the cool outdoor air for a while before dying out to join the constant, steady humming of the ship's engines.

* * *

_**A bit on the melancholy side, perhaps. My apologies if I have awoken not wanted feelings.  
Comments, reviews, requests and ideas are all welcome and appreciated. (and wanted.)**_


	7. Drabble 7: 'Cons' movie night

_**Actually this is one of the very first ones. I just haven't gotten around to posting it.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything  
Rating: K**_

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*****  
****'Cons' Movie night  
*********

"Now then, what shall we watch…?" Knock Out purred as he ran a clawed finger tip over the selection. " Ah, I know! Zombies!"

"Smash down, tailpipe-bending, wrecking movie!" Breakdown shouted and punched his fists together.

Soundwave's visor flared on with a word 'Sci-fi' written on it.

Greg set down the plateful of Energon cubes. "I vote for adventure!"

"What's a movie?" Steve inquired tilting his head.

The optics in the room (and Soundwave's visor) turned to stare at him.

"Pfft! You don't know what a movie is, Eradicon?" The red sports car scoffed waving his hand. "Under what used-parts-scrapheap have you grown up?"

The blue mech snickered behind the medic. Greg shook his helm.

"Hold everything!" A voice yelled from the open doorway. "As the one in charge, _I_ shall decide the movie!"

The gazes switched to the door.

The dark-greyish Seeker strolled into the room. Clearing his throat, and placing a servo on his chest, Starscream spoke out: "As the Lord of… Soundwave, do not look at me like that. Turn away. Ahem! As the Lord of _all_ Decepticons I shall use my privilege to choose the movie, and we shall watch… this!"

The mech pulled out a pink DVD-case. It read: "Disney princesses' Sing-Along!"

"…And EVERYONE WILL SING!" The Seeker snarled.

Silence.

"Oh, yeah! Bring in the microphones!" Breakdown hollered punching the air.

* * *

_**Do. not. ask.**_

_**Comments, reviews, requests and ideas are welcome and appreciated (and wanted). ^^**_


End file.
